Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
