i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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