Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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