Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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