she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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