Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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