I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
