Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
