Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
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