Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize