the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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