people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
