i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
