Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
