Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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