I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
