Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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