Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
