She's JV to your varsity
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
