I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
