my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
this hospital has no fireball
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize