So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
