no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
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There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
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Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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