Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
