The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
