Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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