Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
