I am puke
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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