Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Quick, to the slutcave!
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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