just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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