There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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