i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you will always have a special place in my vag
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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