that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
