We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
