I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
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