whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
