I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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