We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
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LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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