I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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