my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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