omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
