just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
