I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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