i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
