He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
