Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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