I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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