Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize