Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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