how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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