I want to stick my p in your. b.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
