I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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