I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
