WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
