My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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