whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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