Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
