how hairy? two words: wookie tits
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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