Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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