About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
