Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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