The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I think I am morally bankrupt
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
And then the night went full on bisexual.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
