Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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