Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
