Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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