im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Your penis caused this!
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