ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
